Why We Behave Badly - Even When We Know Better

It's okay. We've all been there. You're trying to better yourself, and then you mess up. It's frustrating, demoralizing, and sometimes it feels downright impossible to keep going. But don't give up yet! The most important thing is to learn from your mistakes and move on. Here are four tips for doing just that.

First, take some time to figure out what went wrong. This can be difficult, especially if you feel ashamed or embarrassed about what happened. As humans, we are constantly learning and evolving. We make mistakes because we are trying to better ourselves. For us to grow, we need to be able to learn from our mistakes. If we never made any mistakes, we would never know anything new. But it's essential to be honest with yourself, so you can avoid making the same mistake in the future. By recognizing your shortcomings and working to improve yourself, you can move closer to your goals and become a better person.

Second, forgive yourself. We engage in self-sabotaging or very destructive behaviors repeatedly because we are trying to protect ourselves. We are afraid of change, failure, or success. We fear what others will think of us or how they will judge us. We are scared of the unknown. All of these fears lead us to engage in self-sabotaging behaviors that keep us stuck in the same patterns or engage in destructive behaviors that end up harming us in the long run.

It's easy to dwell on our mistakes and beat ourselves up. But it's important to remember that everyone makes mistakes and that we all have the potential to learn and grow from them. Slowly but surely, as you begin to address your fears, they will start to lose their hold over you, and you will be able to live a life that is not governed by fear.

Third, reach out for support. Sometimes it can be helpful to talk to someone who understands what you're going through and can offer practical advice. Or perhaps this support can provide a new perspective to see the actions through a new lens. I'll be the first to admit it can be challenging to accept that we've acted up, especially when we know better. But by acknowledging our actions, allowing others to hold us accountable, and understanding why we behaved that way, we can start to work on healing ourselves emotionally and mentally.

Finally, don't give up on yourself. Just because you made a mistake doesn't mean you're doomed to fail. One of the most critical steps is recognizing that our reasons for misbehaving are emotional, not logical. We may act out of fear, confusion, or anger, but we must understand that these are emotions, not rational thoughts.

Once we recognize our emotional triggers, we can start to work on addressing them. This may involve therapy, journaling, or other methods of self-care. But the most important thing is to be gentle with ourselves and to remember that we are capable of change. With time and effort, we can learn to heal ourselves emotionally and mentally, even after making mistakes. Then, use what you've learned to recommit yourself to your goals and continue working towards becoming the best version of yourself.

Making mistakes is a part of life, but it doesn't have to be a part of your journey. Using these four tips, you can learn from your mistakes, forgive yourself, and keep moving forward. Onward, loves!

Be sure to check out the podcast episode for more clarity and guidance.