Allowing Spirit to Heal: Overcoming Self-Judgement in Difficult Times
Oct 18, 2023Welcome to the latest episode of the Living Out Love podcast, where we explore all things spirituality, transformation, and self-care. In this powerful and moving episode, we dive deep into the transformative work of a "transformation doula" with Host Amy Hageman and Guest Della. Together we explore the concept of self-judgment and its impact on our personal growth journey. We also discuss how to care for ourselves in difficult times, including navigating triggers from past traumas. Plus, Amy shares a new coaching lens that will revolutionize the way you approach your personal development and self-care. This episode is raw, vulnerable, and filled with valuable insights for anyone seeking transformation in their life. So join us as we explore the power of self-care, release self-judgment, and embrace our worthiness with open hearts and minds.
Note: This episode may contain sensitive topics related to sexual abuse trauma and conflict in Israel. Listener discretion is advised.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
The Importance of Self-Acceptance: Accepting ourselves for who we are, flaws, and all, allows us to fully experience the love and joy that the universe has to offer.
Holding Space for Others in Times of Need: The responsibility to support others in their time of need can be emotionally draining, and it is important to take care of our own spiritual well-being in order to be able to hold space for others.
Shifting Perspectives and Letting Go of Judgment: By seeing a past version of ourselves with love and understanding, we can begin to heal from self-imposed judgment and realize our true divinity.
Embracing Your Worthiness: The presence of spirit in our physical experience is a reminder that we are all 100% divine, no matter our human imperfections.
The Power of Unconditional Love from Our Guides: The visualization exercise of the sun symbolizes the unconditional love and healing energy of our guides.
LINKS
Tell Me More About Self-Care in Times of Change
TRANSCRIPT
Self-judgment and spiritual guidance with a transformation doula.
Amy Hageman 00:00
Hello loves! Welcome back to the Living Out Love podcast. Today's episode is not anything you've heard before. You're gonna hear me working with the lovely Della Barbato. And this session is different than a typical session that a client would book with me where I would give them psychic information or mediumship information. It's going to feel a little bit more like a coaching session. My intention is not to be a coach. My intention is to be a transformation doula. So doula would be somebody that is assisting someone in a great transition, we think about doulas in terms of somebody that supports a woman in labor or now there's death, doulas that help a person that's about to pass on know what to experience, help their families know what to experience, to provide that level of support for these major life transitions. And so I am creating a container for people where I am a doula to their transformation to their own death and rebirth. And that's not something that's going to happen in an hour. But you will hear the very first conversation that della and I have together as me being her transformation, doula.
So her name is Della Barbayo, her website, DellaBarbato.com, she has a book, her book is called Almost Della, it's a memoir, it's available on Amazon, you can find those links in the show notes. We didn't actually talk too much about the trauma, you're going to hear her reference, a sexual abuse trauma, we don't really talk about it, it's not an explicit trigger warning thing. But if that is something that you are curious about, or that has happened to you, then definitely, you know, look her up, access the links below. And enjoy the first 40 to 45 minutes of our conversation is primarily about what's going on in her mind. And you know, mine and her guides reaction to it. And then we move into she asked a question about how are we supposed to manage life ourselves regarding what's happening in Israel and Gaza. And we we have a few minutes of conversation about that. And then at the end, we we just did a quick, guided visualization for her. So that's what you're gonna hear and it it is long. You can jump around if you like to within the episode. But the theme of the episode is self-judgment. And I think that that's something we probably all struggle with. And so I hope that it benefits you. And I look forward to seeing you all next week. Thanks for listening to my Doula ship episode. Bye love! All right, well, let's both take a breath together. Let's just inhale. And as we do that, we are consciously relaxing, our body's telling our bodies that it's perfectly safe to be in this container together. Inhale. Exhale. I am feeling so many guides and angels stepping up to the plate for you. As I'm relaxing my body, I'm just feeling this, like waves of spiritual. Well, presence is one way of saying it but it's also wisdom. Like I'm feeling these people kind of step up to the plate. So Ella, this is the beginning of our I don't want to call it a coaching journey. I want to call it like a doula journey. And so it's beginning of our journey together. And so what is your wish your intention, your vision for what you would like to work on.
Healing from trauma and self-judgment.
Della Barbato 04:21
So I put a lot of effort and time into healing from sexual abuse that I endured as a teenager for an extended period of time and them the worst thing about that abuse was the emotional abuse because it wasn't just my body. It was my love and my trust that were completely manipulated to his sickness or whatever. So I have been healing for that for from that for a long time. And I feel like I've come so far I know I have. But there are, you know, times when life happens. And I get into these deep areas of negativity, and I just want to curl up in a ball and turn life off. And I don't judge myself for not being able to function. Sometimes when I go to sleep, or I'm trying to go to sleep, like I'll fall asleep on the couch, right, and then I go to bed, and then I can't go to sleep because, hey, I'm worried about the way this person thinks of me or the way that I reacted to this situation. And my mind just stays there like a, like a like a niggle. And it's like, I'm trapped in this little cloud, a black cloud. And I'm like, an I know that, okay. I don't have to stay here. This is old wiring, and I can move. But I can't do it by myself, I have to turn on a meditation app or a spiritual talk from something on my phone. So that's, that's the first thing is, is and I know that it's life. And I know that most people get there. But I want to move away from these areas of of, of just being in that in that horrible funk.
Amy Hageman 07:00
Hmm. So I want to start by addressing something that you said that. Now, let me go back and ask you a question before I go there. When you were talking about life, how sometimes it can feel like you're in this dark cloud, and that you have to move? When life happens, so to speak. Emotionally? Do you feel as though it always comes back to that original pain point, that original trauma? Or do you feel like there's other pain points in your life, we all have other things? Or is that always the root of the pain?
Della Barbato 07:44
The root of the pain to me is judgment of myself. And that is the way that I have been brought up with a very sibling that was a bully. And my mom, I think, has a lot to do with that too, because she thinks very little of herself even today. And she taught us that. Having said that, I feel like my low point has definitely moved up. Is that the right way? That it used to be where it was much worse, you know, but and but now it's just, I am conscious from because of the work I've done to be aware, I am aware, hey, I'm in this place, I don't want to be and I can I can do things to get out of it. I can change my frequency. But at the same time, it's it's still uncomfortable and sad. And I it's funny, because I have been in victimhood for a very long time. And I know that that is not a place that I want to be and to move myself out of that. But at the same time, it's it's it's there. It's wired, it's it's, it's ingrained.
Amy Hageman 09:14
Yeah. Ah. Okay, so I want to start with something that's gonna seem a little small compared to the topic of self judgment. But when you were talking about the dark cloud, you said that you can shift you can get out of it, but I can't do it by myself. And now you have to rely on a meditation or something. And that statement is so interesting because a you're judging yourself in the statement that like that you need help is an issue, but also, we're not supposed to do it by ourselves. And so, we're going to work real quickly. Just on removing in that statement, as if that's a problem that I can't do it by myself, we have spirit for a reason, you know, and if meditation is your way of getting out of your body's pattern in that moment to reconnect with your higher self, or source or whatever, whatever that is, that's not a sign that you can't do it by yourself. That's a sign of, you know, all the tools in your toolbox, and you're using the one that you need in that moment.
Della Barbato 10:27
So when I say meditation, I mean to app so I'm relying on someone an audible, coming through the phone,
Amy Hageman 10:38
or whatever you're utilizing. Yes, yes. Beautiful.
Della Barbato 10:42
So but I just want to make sure that when I say meditation, it's not just me centering. And oh, I'm going to do this by myself. No, it's it's it's a it's a it's a tool. It's an app.
Amy Hageman 10:54
Yeah, so I am a spiritual person for living. I record meditations like this is my an, I need guided meditations. Also, I sat down to meditate this very morning, I wanted to do a healing on something very much related to what we're talking about. And I am add, and so I can't I keep going, Oh, I'm supposed to be doing this. And I go over here. So like, that doesn't mean, I'm a broken person that can heal myself. It just means like, these are the ways in which I can call my body, these are the ways in which I can connect with spirit. And there's no, the whole idea that like, I can't do it by myself is not. It's just not true. Number one, because whether you're choosing to go for meditation, or you're choosing to walk, or you're choosing to like binge and watch Netflix, like none of those things are wholly reliant, you know what I mean? Like there are tools that you use. But then also, you're not by yourself. There's no like, there's no such thing as us doing life by ourself. We're in partnership with spirit, whether we know it or not, whether we utilize it or not. So to have any amounts of energy, judging yourself on how you take care of yourself, you know what I mean? Like we're never going to be able to get to self care if we're just going to judge the route that you take. And so that's the thing that we're going to release. Step one, let's release that thought. So I want you to are you familiar with tapping at all? Yes. Okay, I'm not an expert but this is where I'm feeling led to go I want you to just close your eyes and take some fingers and tap of of your third eye here and say I don't have to do life by myself.
Della Barbato 13:00
I don't have to do life myself.
Amy Hageman 13:05
I am always in partnership with spirit.
Della Barbato 13:08
I am always in partnership with spirit.
Amy Hageman 13:14
There is no right way to heal.
Della Barbato 13:19
There is no right way to heal.
Amy Hageman 13:25
Okay, now I want you to come and tap on your wrist. I am beautifully supported in my healing journey.
Della Barbato 13:38
I am beautifully supported in my healing journey.
Amy Hageman 13:44
All emotions are safe for me to feel
Della Barbato 13:50
All emotions are safe for me to feel
Amy Hageman 13:58
My emotions are just information.
Della Barbato 14:04
My emotions are just information.
Amy Hageman 14:10
Okay, and I want you to come tap kind of right in between your collarbone here, like right on your sternum. There are many tools in my toolbox.
Della Barbato 14:24
There are many tools in my toolbox.
Amy Hageman 14:30
I am free to choose whatever method supports my healing.
Della Barbato 14:37
I am free to choose whatever method supports my healing.
Amy Hageman 14:45
There is no place where spirit will not meet me.
Della Barbato 14:49
There is no place where spirit will not meet me.
Amy Hageman 14:56
I am a powerful creator of my healing In journey.
Della Barbato 15:02
I am a powerful creator of my healing journey
Amy Hageman 15:08
Okay now we're gonna come back up to the forehead to the third eye up here. Man I had an it's just escaped me. I choose to love myself in any condition
Della Barbato 15:49
I choose to love myself in any condition
Amy Hageman 15:57
I choose to allow what brings me healing no matter the form
Della Barbato 16:04
I choose to allow what brings me healing whatever the form
Amy Hageman 16:19
My connection with spirit is one of my greatest strengths
Della Barbato 16:28
Sorry Just let that sink in yeah. It's funny because this overwhelming feeling that I'm having right now. I know is this it goes back to like sometimes I think I don't even deserve my angels and my guides and my spirit it's like oh wow these are here for me. Wow, what a shock like I did not bring any Kleenex to this desk. It's overwhelming it's overwhelming their love for me. And and I feel it and sometimes I still go to that place where "Oh, is this for me? I don't deserve that." And then when they correct me that's when these tears come. So um, see if I have anything in here? No. Um, can you repeat? Do you remember what you said?
Amy Hageman 17:58
Yes.
Della Barbato 17:59
Oh, look, I have this mask but it'll work.
Amy Hageman 18:09
We're gonna say, my connection with spirit is one of my greatest strengths.
Della Barbato 18:19
My connection with spirit is one of my greatest strengths.
Amy Hageman 18:26
I allow spirit to support and nurture me no matter what.
Della Barbato 18:32
I allow spirit to support and nurture me no matter what.
Amy Hageman 18:43
I know that judgment is a human condition.
Della Barbato 18:49
I know that judgment is a human condition
Amy Hageman 18:57
I will gently remind myself of my worthiness. Whenever I need the reminder.
Della Barbato 19:05
I will gently remind myself of my worthiness whenever I need a reminder
Amy Hageman 19:16
Okay, let's just take a breath and check in. Anything else coming up for you. I mean, I feel like you've already shared but yeah.
Self-worth, judgment, and emotional expression.
Della Barbato 19:35
Well the other thing that I had and I know that this is normal to but not so normal because not everybody does. So I wouldn't say that I'm a rager in traffic. Because I know people who actually you know their blood boils and, but and it's a condition, but I do when people cut me off or drive recklessly in my direction, honk, honk, and I'm like the only. And it's not just, Oh, watch out, you're about to hit me. It's spite you, you almost hit me. You're safe now. But you shouldn't drive like that. So that was that was the other thing that I had written down for today. Yeah. You know, rage is an acceptable emotion I think we've been taught that rage is somehow inappropriate or dangerous. It's definitely not feminine. But they your guides and I but your guides are not seeing this as a problem that needs to be solved. How dare you speak up for yourself when you are feeling unsafe? Right, yeah, well, I got honked back at the other day when they cut me off.
Emotions, self-judgment, and personal growth.
Amy Hageman 21:19
Well, good for them. You are communicating to the world, hey, I don't feel safe. That's not I don't accept that, in my physical experience. I have a boundary with that behavior. That's perfectly healthy communication. Yeah, there and as you pointed out, there's a difference between road rage, blood boiling, wanting to pull over so you can do get out and wanting to say, hey, I don't feel comfortable with you driving around me like that. You want to go drive that way with your mom and your sister and your whoever on the road. That's not a my business. So I think it's interesting that the two things that you've brought up here today that are things you want to work on, are just you judging yourself.
Amy Hageman 22:21
Like, I'm not allowed to want to feel safe. While I'm driving, I'm not allowed to communicate that of course you are. And of course, you're allowed to get mad about it. So here's, I did pull up your astrology chart. And I'm an amateur astrologer. But your moon rolls your chart. And your moon is in a very similar place on your chart as it is in my chart. It's very important. And your moon is your emotional body. So your emotions are very, they're a big voice in your lifetime. And they're I mean, obviously, we're all human, we all have emotions that are important to everybody. But for you. Your emotions are a big part of your journey in this physical incarnation. And your moon is in the sign of Libra. Libra likes balance. Libra likes harmony and peace. And so I think that in addition to whatever conditioning you have received in this lifetime, you also have this moon that really doesn't want to feel all of the feelings. It would much rather have peace all the time, than have to speak up for itself and feel rage on occasion. Yeah, and that's I'm like, That's okay, that that's what your moon wants. I hope that we bring your moon some peace today, you know, but it's just also knowing like, Okay, this is a part of my, a part of my DNA is I don't like having to feel these feelings. And yet, they're, they're, you know, a part of my DNA is I don't like going to parties. I'll stand on a stage and speak but I don't like going to parties. And that doesn't necessarily mean I don't go to parties. I know that they serve me and I know how to prepare myself to go. But I just understand that about myself. So it's the same thing with your mood. You love to feel at peace you feel at home when you're feeling peaceful. And so anytime you're not feeling that it can be uncomfortable. Like, obviously it's uncomfortable to feel a negative emotion anyway, but there's this added sense of something has gone wrong. Because I'm feeling something that's not peaceful in love. I gotta change this. Does that resonate?
Della Barbato 24:44
Yes.
Amy Hageman 24:47
Yes, yeah.
Della Barbato 24:49
Because I'm so good at judging myself. That whatever it is, oh, well, you must be human. You're not doing it right. Whenever I feel like that, I immediately blame myself. So I say, Oh, you're feeling negative or you're feeling rage, then you're not doing it right, you are doing something wrong because you feel this way. Right? You're not allowed to feel this way.
Amy Hageman 25:17
Right? Yeah. And I think this is so tricky for spiritual people. I think we, we don't know how to be human all the time. You know, and we've sort of lost sight that we came here to have the full human experience, which includes, it includes the sex and the chocolate, and the pleasure and it also includes the rage and the How dare you cut me off and make me feel unsafe when I'm just trying to go to work? You know, so, yeah, so this is just something to be aware of that. You can give yourself permission. Like, yes, I'm, I'm supposed to feel this on occasion. And, you know, rage and anger serve their protective emotions. You know, if somebody had cut you off and you didn't feel angry, then there's no part of your brain telling you. I'm not safe. You know what I mean? So if you didn't have that rush of emotion, you wouldn't be as on guard and you might be more likely to just get hit and not care. You know, so they're important emotions, they keep us safe. They have a purpose. And so we just want to you know.
Della Barbato 26:44
It's not, there's a few
Amy Hageman 26:46
Go ahead.
Della Barbato 26:47
I was just gonna say, it's not just that. I don't like being human, some or feel those emotions. I don't I don't want to be human sometimes. You know, I just I don't want this darn human experience. Anyway,
Amy Hageman 27:05
Who chose this? Yeah. Yeah, of course. Here's the thing that's interesting. I yeah, I want to take it here. You have looking at your chart. You are really good at being seen. You know that about yourself?
Della Barbato 27:35
Not quite sure what you mean.
Amy Hageman 27:38
You're looking at me like you don't even know what I'm talking about. Okay. There are some people who would prefer to be in the background would never want to be on stage.
Della Barbato 27:51
Oh, yeah. I don't I mean, I do know that about myself. I love being on stage.
Amy Hageman 27:55
Yeah, you're, and it's not just that you enjoy it, you're also good at it. You're good at being seen. The, the trouble with that? Is that the more we're seeing the more kind of damning our self-judgment can be. Because we have this like, added layer of audience, you know, which, even when we're just at home by herself, we have this invisible audience all the time. But there's this, like, pressure for you.
Shifting perspective from self-judgment to observing others.
Della Barbato 28:32
And just that when I'm alone, there's an audience. That's, that's, that's crazy. Yeah. Crazy. The guides and angels and spirits and everything. It's, it's and sometimes I'm like, how do you get enough satisfaction in your world by living in my head? 24/7 there's gonna help you like, yeah, take a break go away. It's just that whole judgment thing, I guess, coming back.
Amy Hageman 29:06
Yeah, yeah. I mean, your your brain is so it, everything runs through that hub of judgment. You know, and like all of our brains have their patterns, but it almost feels like you'll take in a new piece of information about anything about the shape of a butterfly's wings about the color of a flower petal, like you'll take in a new piece of information. And even that information has to get routed through the hub of self judgment. And it's like, maybe I'm not appreciating it enough. Or maybe I'm not understanding why it's important. But it's like these things come into your life and not everything you're going to have a conscious of were thought of, but everything is gonna get routed through that hub of, I'm not good enough, I'm not worthy, something has something's wrong with me. And so that's the thing where we have to try to, I mean, obviously any sort of pattern, we're we're always trying to heal our neural patterns, our thought patterns. But it's like, let's imagine if your brains have instead of self judgment, if it was, life is a miracle. Like how differently you would experience all those human things, even the interaction of somebody cutting you off, like the fact that our reflexes are quick enough that somebody thought of horns, like you could have a totally different response to that if, if the hub was life is a miracle slash, and I'm supported.
Della Barbato 31:01
And every moment can be cherished, and not wasted, I guess.
Amy Hageman 31:16
Yeah. And we have to be careful with these thoughts too, because in the same way that we were saying earlier, like rage doesn't feel spiritual. These thoughts, if we use them the wrong way, can sort of make it feel like we're supposed to be happy all the time. And we're supposed to be in spiritual wonder all the time. And that's not what I'm trying to get you towards. But it's just a creative exercise in if we looked at the same exact circumstances. But the neural patterning wasn't to go to self judgment, and the neural patterning was to consider it from a different lens. How might your experience differ?
Della Barbato 32:03
I've been getting a lot of those clues in you know, a meditation that I do from Michael from different places that that a change in perception is really where it's at, it's where things aren't as bad as you think they are. If you look at things differently, then it's not that your life will be easier, but it'll just be more enjoyable, there will be more joy.
Judgment, self-awareness, and spiritual connection.
Amy Hageman 32:42
Yeah. So here's what we're gonna work on, that we're going to practice. And you and I are going to stay in touch about this over the next few days. The idea that we're gonna go from like, judging self all the time to life is a miracle. And every moment can be cherished, like, that's not a leap that we're gonna make, you know, we're gonna make lots of little leaps before we get from A to B. So what we're going to start with is we are just going to lean into the judgment. But we're going to shift the perspective just a little bit. So right now your your judgment is looking out through your eyes. So you're looking out through your experience. And sometimes there's like a mirror there, and you're looking back at yourself. And that's like the route that your judgment is taking. So instead, what we want you to do is we want you to take your judgment, and we want you to lift it up over your head, like take a bird's eye view. I'm saying weed because I'm, you know, in partnership with your guides. And so let's say there's a situation that comes up, you've been cut off on the highway, and you honk the horn, and you're really mad about it. And we want you to judge the situation. As if you are above yourself, and you're looking down at all the humans. And you're like, Oh, look at that. That human is driving the way they want to drive and that other human really doesn't like it. It makes her uncomfortable. And look, she's honking so that she can protect herself. Isn't that interesting? Oh my gosh, and now she's judging herself for hogging. Isn't that interesting? Like, like, if you could just like, it's not like we're gonna step out of the judgment. We just want to shift the perspective to be like, Look at the humans. You know, and I mean, it kind of it can still be a little bit condescending, because judgment is it can be like, come on humans. But really, it's like, they want you to shift and just to de personalize it a little bit. To go up above take the bird's eye view. And maybe you start to tell a different story about the other person that haunts like maybe your intuition might click Ken and you might be like, Oh, dude, that person's Late for Meeting or Oh, dude, that person's always been a jerk. But it's because they gotta Yeah, like, whoever, whatever the judgment is. But it's just allowing that judgment take a different perspective, we want to think about, like neural pattern changes as being a ladder, where you don't get from where you are now, to the top of the tower in one step, you know what I mean? And so this first step is we're just going to take the bird's eye view, and we're going to allow ourselves to judge all of it. And we're going to kind of in a way that feels a little bit condescending, if we're being honest, we're going to kind of turn the humans into a creature just like every other creature. You know, look at that human, you know.
Della Barbato 35:51
they may have a very justifiable reason for getting there faster.
Amy Hageman 35:56
Yeah, they might, or they might just be a jerk.
Della Barbato 36:00
Yeah.
Amy Hageman 36:04
Like, that's fine. Maybe they're just a jerk. That's fine, too. You know, like, we can allow that sometimes people are just jerks. We don't have to make everybody out to be an angel, or to be like, Oh, well, their wife is pregnant and in labor, so they must hurry like, we can allow for the truth to be there. It you know, this? Partially, it's a lot of spiritual people. Partially, it's a very feminine thing. We're always wanting to give this benefit of the doubt. And I think it is, it makes wrong. The full human experience that's just the way they so that's kind of the assignment.
Della Barbato 36:52
Okay.
Amy Hageman 36:53
It could be, we don't know.
Della Barbato 36:56
Yeah.
Amy Hageman 36:58
And if they are, so let's say the person let's say they're just a jerk, whether it's a driving or somebody that you work with, it's like, well, then, then you get to decide how do I want to feel about it? You know, or do I want to set a different boundary? You know, so in the car situation, you could decide, all right, that person was in an XYZ car with XYZ color. And anytime I see that kind of car, I'm going to do whatever I do. Or if it's somebody that you work with, you could decide, okay, I'm going to change jobs, or I'm going to get on a project that doesn't include them or whatever it is, like we get to do with whatever we want with that information. I think there's a time for discernment and healing. And there's a time for allowing our initial judgments to be evolved, so to speak, to like it, let's say we decide this person's a jerk than Yeah, maybe later in our meditation we go, there's probably a reason they are that way. Like their soul came here to have whatever they had, like, there's times for us to allow for that human experience. But it's also okay to just have the judgment. The reason why we have the judgment is so that we can feel the emotion, the reason why we have the emotion is so that we can be safe. It's a survival mechanism.
Della Barbato 38:32
Okay.
Amy Hageman 38:34
Inherently judgment as a survival mechanism. And so when we're judging ourselves for judging, we're literally saying to ourselves, stop being human. So it's like, no wonder you don't want to be human. Because you're doing to yourself, you're upset at yourself all the time for doing what humans do.
Della Barbato 39:02
Okay, I see that.
Amy Hageman 39:05
Yeah. And here's your, your guides, I want to give you a little bit of insight into you know, what you said earlier about, like, oh, my gosh, their whole job is just be in my brain all the time. And they're like, no. Their job is to align the universe in a way that works for your soul. That's what their job is. And as a part of that, do they have a very intimate knowledge of who you are and what you're thinking and feeling and how you're seeing things? Absolutely. But they also have a very intimate knowledge of who you are that you don't have. And they know how to contextualize that whole picture in a way that you and I can't really understand. And this this idea of like being worthy for spiritual connection is obviously as you said, it's one that we all struggle with. Because we have our human egos. But it's so ironic, isn't it? It's so ironic, because before you were born, you were enmeshed.
Della Barbato 40:24
Yeah.
Amy Hageman 40:27
And we're still a meshed and we just don't know it.
Della Barbato 40:29
Yeah.
Amy Hageman 40:31
You know, and it's, it's like trying, it's like trying to be like, well, air is stupid. Will like, maybe air is stupid, but you need it. So you know what I mean? Like, it's we're arguing with reality. And that's okay.
Della Barbato 40:45
Comparing that with air, love that.
Amy Hageman 40:54
So, you and I are going to have a follow up call in two or three weeks, we'll decide later. But the homework for the next three days. The homework is, when you catch yourself judging yourself or anybody else, just in a state of judgment. Number one to be like, I'm doing this human thing. Sweet. This is what helps humans survive. Good for me. I'm doing the human thing. And now I'm going to shift and I'm going to go up above and I'm going to shift my perspective. And I'm just gonna look at me as human. And you're, and you're gonna see yourself and sometimes you're not gonna like it. Like sometimes you're gonna be in the oh my god, she knows better. You know? Sometimes there's gonna be that third party, it's still gonna be judgment, but sometimes you're gonna see it and you're gonna be like, Well, yeah, she didn't sleep well on, she hasn't had her coffee and then this guy and hit his brake lights are out. I mean, of course, that's how she responded. So step one, celebrate that you're judging. That's keeping you safe in this human experience. Step two, try to shift your awareness as if you are not you and you're just watching you. Okay? Step three, if you want to go there, if there's time. Stay in that bird's eye view and ask spirit to show you anything that would benefit your vision. And for if you are better with clear audience or clairvoyance, if you're however you receive spiritual information, I'm saying show you because we've been using this visual thing. But it may drop in as a knowing however you experience it.
Della Barbato 42:52
Okay?
Amy Hageman 42:53
And if it's not, if, if you ask for help, and you don't hear something that's loving and compassionate, then know that that's your ego can that's okay, we're like,
Della Barbato 43:02
All right.
Amy Hageman 43:04
Okay, so that's the homework and I'm we're going to check in in three days and see if, if you've been able to do it, how it's going. We have a few more minutes here. So is there anything else you'd like to say or asked before we kind of wrap up for today?
War, trauma, and personal growth.
Della Barbato 43:20
I do. And if it's something that we need to save for next time, that's fine. I'm sure that the rest of the world is aghast at what is happening with these two wars that are going on. I'm finding it very hard to not judge the people doing it and how the hell did this did we get here and I can't watch the news anymore. I just
Amy Hageman 43:21
Yeah.
Della Barbato 43:22
I don't know if there's any words of comfort or words of comfort. But how do we deal with stuff like this? What's this? Atrocious human humans causing other suffering humans, humans suffering and other humans? How how?
Coping with global suffering.
Amy Hageman 44:22
Yeah. There's so much to this question. They're not going to address the the TV media aspect because we don't have time. But just as a quick throw away, everybody, be mindful with what you're consuming and limit yourself to TV or radio or whatever. Just be mindful of how much you're consuming. And to understand that you are traumatizing yourself every time you expose yourself. And so unless you really know how to care for yourself in that journey, perhaps don't traumatize yourself so much. People are capable of many things. You know, we are learning through this war, that people are capable of doing things that seem like how is a human even capable of doing that to another human? Does it you know, I'll just leave it at that. And people are also capable of the opposite. And in any, I don't want to, um, kind of call it a problem, which is not an appropriate word. But in any problem, there is inherently a solution, like we live in a universe that has infinite potential, there is no darkness where spirit cannot meet us.
And so our job as individuals that are not in the situation that are not currently trying to figure out how to keep ourselves alive. Our jobs is to a stay, and enough in touch with our intuition, our higher power so that we can take the action that we need to take. So this could be donating money, this could be calling politicians, this could be checking on your friends in a way that we don't, like, let's say that you have friends that have family in Israel, I do, you don't want to, we don't want to call them and check on them so that we can feel better. You know, we have to be already okay with whatever it is that that they're going through so that we can hold space for them. And so the task, and I, to you personally, I don't want to really want to say this because you're struggling with self judgment. So I'm answering this question at a large at a larger context for anybody listening. The task is to look at the themes of this war. And see where we are in alignment with those themes. This is righteousness. You know, I am right, this is my land because you deserve to be ostracized, because there's this righteousness over humanity. There's dehumanization, which we all struggle with. But so finding in ourselves, where are we dehumanizing others? Where are we choosing righteousness over peace? Over collective well being? Where are we choosing to tell the same historical story over and over and over again, rather than open our hearts and minds to something radically new and different? Where are we not willing to believe that all of this trauma that's been passed down to us might be healed?
That we might turn a new page. There's so much about this war, we could talk about Israel and Palestine, we, you know, we could talk about Ukraine and Russia, there's so much of these outer wars that play out internally within us. And again, I don't want to judge the humans for being human. You know, people that have become oppressed want to oppress other people, that's how they feel powerful in their oppression. You know, of course, that's what it is. So I don't want you know, we're not answering this so to give you more room to judge yourself, but but that's when you can't do anything about what's happening the world away, you can do something about what's happening inside of yourself. And as humans we really don't get how connected at all is we don't get it and that's okay. We're not meant to get it. We came down here to forget. But we are so connected. And if all of us who were just watching feeling helpless, did this deep dive And to try to ask ourselves, where am I choosing righteousness over collective well being? Where am I choosing to hold on to the wounds that I that I have, and that my ancestors had? Instead of choosing collective well being? And there's no, I'm not shaming anybody, you know. But those are the questions that we can sit with. And is it it's a pretty big ask, to go to your subconscious imagination and say, take this story that you have had your entire life that has been handed to you cross generation across generation after generation, it's been documented, like take this story, and just let it go. So that we can have a world in which everybody has their their basic human needs met. Like, that's a big radical ask. And that's not something that we're going to be able to sit down and meditation. And just imagine very easily how this is all going to come to a place of peace. But if humans are capable of doing to other humans, what's being done right now than humans are capable of coming together? And figuring out how do we shift towards a collective well being? How do we reimagine this situation? What does love look like? What does justice look like? And so it's just asking yourself those questions. And I don't know how people how not even as somebody living it just as by standards, I don't know how people get through it without a faith practice. Personally. You know, I don't really subscribe to one specific religion, but I have a lot of faith, and I have a lot of spiritual connection that I rely on, to help me have a different perspective of life. And I think everybody has to really find that within themselves.
Della Barbato 52:35
And I guess, understand that those people who are doing these terrorist acts, they don't, they can't. I mean, they don't know that there's beings that are helping them through this life, actively. And that's, that's, that's a faith that, to me is the biggest. It's just knowing that they're there.
Amy Hageman 53:10
Yeah. And we have to let go of our need for understanding.
Della Barbato 53:19
And there it is.
Amy Hageman 53:20
Yeah, the human mind wants to understand everything, why? It can keep us safe.
Della Barbato 53:27
Yeah, maybe.
Amy Hageman 53:28
Yeah. But we don't really understand any of the things we think we understand. You know, we, we think we understand so much. And we, we don't, and that's okay. So it's also to just let go of the need to understand and to just hold space for your own suffering regarding other people's suffering. And, you know, at times like these, we have to be really gentle with ourselves and with each other. And that's the other call is people that put statements on social media, you know, some people are gonna say, but you're not considering this, or you're not considering that and it's like, there's no way to make a statement and not upset somebody. And that's okay. So it's just like, being very gentle with ourselves and with people and understanding that this process of being a human in a global world is so complex. I mean, just think it's not that many years ago, what 100 years ago, if this had gone on, how much longer it would take for us to know about it and how much less we would actually know. We wouldn't be seeing videos. You know what I mean? Like, it's so much different, so are our bodies aren't I believe our bodies are not yet used to the amount of information that we get.
Della Barbato 55:04
It's a lot.
Amy Hageman 55:05
You know? It's a lot. And so we have to be really mindful of what we expose ourselves to
Della Barbato 55:13
at the same time.
Amy Hageman 55:14
And the thing is, I think there's a part of us. No, go ahead.
Della Barbato 55:19
Oh, I was just gonna say that. It's not just a family member, I have a former college roommate, a friend that I've known for many decades. Is there she lives there with her mom. And so she checks in twice a day on Facebook, thank goodness. But, you know, I told her this morning, or I texted her if you need to talk. I'm always here. And at the same time, there's no way I can understand or give comfort. You know, I can get comfort but you know, yes. What do you say? I guess I don't I just listen.
Spirituality and self-worth with a psychic medium.
Amy Hageman 56:03
Just listen. I mean, what what is there to say? What we're I mean, come on, like, what words are gonna? Yeah, then yeah. And so we, we do what is spiritually ours to do for some people that's lighting a candle and praying for some people that's going for a walk and praying and trying to get answers like you do, what is yours to do that will keep you spiritually fed as possible, so that you have the emotional capacity to hold space if that arises. But it's, it's also people watch way more than they should. Whether that's news, whether that's social media, we already know, you already know what's happening, you have the lay of the land. So how much is it really benefiting you to learn all the other details? Um, how much is it benefiting the people that are going through it right, that you know, all the other details.
Della Barbato 57:18
I'm grateful I don't have that need.
Amy Hageman 57:20
So just being very Yeah, I'm very mindful of of that. So Well, thank you for opening that up. Since this is, you know, this is gonna be published not long after we're having this conversation. So I'm sure there's gonna be lots of people that need to hear it. To close out our session, I'm going to invite your your guides in and just to give you and I have time to just shift our energy and prepare for you to leave our time together. So we're closing our eyes. Breathing in whatever way you feel called to breathe. And I want you to imagine that your guides are taking your hands, there's a guide to your left and a guide to your right. And I want you to imagine that they feel almost like a grandparent where it feels so nurturing you feel so cherish, but also firm. Somebody that has seen the world. There is a wise loving elder to either side of you. And while you hold hands with your guides, I want you to visualize before you a sunrise. And as the sun rises, you feel that light making its way across your body. You feel the shadow of darkness slowly receeding. And as the light reaches you you feel healing and you've already fully seen by the sun in this moment, the sun exists just to see you and behind you stand rows and rows of angels who are getting to experience this love and joy of watching you be seen. And you notice on the horizonan echo of yourself a past version of yourself perhaps that you've had lots of judgment about but you see her differently now and you see that the sun reflects her perfection yes she's fully human and all the great and terrible ways that she's also fully divine and as you're standing here with guides holding hands to either side you realize that that version of yourself that you had so hated you now come to understand as being perfect and share surely this version of yourself is exactly who you are supposed to be divinely connected. And humorously, if not tragically, egoic this human version of yourself are all your strengths for all your weaknesses your quirks is 100% Divine now, I ask that your angels and your guides combine their energies to form one sphere of energy, one orb of white light and we invite that or to move into your heart chakra into to expand out through your body that you are fully reunited and comfortable with the presence of spirit in your physical experience and as we prepare now, to come back to this human experience back to this body on this chair on this computer we take with us the experience of the sunrise of being seen or all that we are and just allowing it to be so just allowing the universe to do what the universe is designed to do. worthiness is not about you achieving you accepting you changing your thoughts. Worthiness is just allowing spirit to do what spirit does. So together now we bring our attention back to this time back to this place carrying with us our guides or angels we fully step in to the sunrise and when you're ready I would just want you to give me a sign that you're back.
Della Barbato 1:04:36
That was beautiful, Amy and guides. I just said that was beautiful.
Amy Hageman 1:04:46
Oh, good, good. All right. So we will stop the recording here for our podcast listeners. And then you and I will hang on so we can schedule our next time together. So for all of you live Since the podcast thank you for joining us and I'll be in touch next week!
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